‘Work-Life Balance’ is a Myth
I am absolutely sick of talking about Work-Life Balance. It’s a theme that nearly every single person has discussed at some point in their lives, myself included, yet finding ‘balance’ is a pervasive and elusive ambition in and of itself that can often do more harm than good. It places the onus of responsibility on the individual and masks deeper systemic issues within organizations and cultures.
Instead of striving for balance, perhaps we should be asking for more from our organizations and systems to support us. Balance, as it’s commonly discussed, leads to guilt and frustration when we inevitably fail to achieve it. This is especially true for parents, who often feel like they’re failing at both work and parenting.
It’s time we shift the conversation from individual balance to systemic change. How can our organizations better support us so that we don’t have to choose between professional success and personal well-being?
Client Stories: I worked with R, a high-achieving executive navigating the transition to parenthood while managing a demanding role. She constantly felt guilty for not achieving balance. Through our work, we shifted her focus from “balance” to asking for systemic support from her company. With new boundaries in place and support from her leadership team, she stopped chasing balance and started thriving.
Tired of the work-life balance myth? Let’s figure out a new way forward.
The Key to Sustainable Leadership: Self-Compassion and Self-Worth
Self-compassion and self-worth are often overlooked but are core to becoming a truly successful leader. A strong leader knows their intrinsic value, beyond career achievements or accolades. They approach their own growth with a sense of compassion, understanding that setbacks are part of the journey toward professional self-actualization.
But in reality, self-compassion can be hard to cultivate, especially for those who were raised with deep-seated messages around performance and worthiness. Generations of leaders have been told to tie their value to their job titles and accomplishments, which often leads to burnout and disconnection.
A mindful practice of self-inquiry can help you build self-worth that is grounded in who you are, not just what you do. This allows for growth that is sustainable, authentic, and deeply fulfilling.
Client Story: A client of mine, J, consistently tied her self-worth to how much she could give to others, both at work and in her personal life. As a women’s leadership coach, we worked together to redefine her value system by practicing self-compassion and acknowledging that her worth existed outside of what she could do for others. The result? She began showing up more powerfully in leadership roles, no longer overextending herself, and became a more balanced, effective leader.
Want to build a stronger sense of self-worth in your leadership journey? Let’s connect.
How to Avoid the Biggest Pitfalls in Leadership: Lessons from the Worst Bosses I've Had
Leadership is one of the most challenging roles anyone can step into. The expectations are high, and the stakes are often even higher. But here’s the hard truth: Not everyone who leads does it well. I’ve worked with and observed many leaders throughout my career, and unfortunately, the ones who stand out most vividly are not always the best ones.
In fact, some of the worst managers I’ve had taught me the most valuable lessons. Their behaviors, while harmful, became case studies in what not to do as a leader. In this post, I’m sharing the toxic leadership behaviors I encountered and breaking down how you can avoid them to become an uncommonly good leader.
As an executive coach in San Francisco, I’ve worked with leaders from every industry, helping them navigate their professional journeys. One thing I’ve learned is that leadership is a mirror—how we treat others is often a reflection of how we treat ourselves. To become a great leader, you must first look inward.
Here’s what I’ve learned from some of the worst bosses I’ve had:
1. Micromanaging: The Ultimate Confidence Killer
We’ve all been there—the manager who hovers, questions your every move, and feels the need to control every detail of your work. One manager I had was so obsessive about micromanagement that she would insist on trivial decisions, like using specific images from Microsoft Clip Art in presentations (yes, really).
The Problem: Micromanagement often stems from insecurity or a lack of trust. Leaders who micromanage aren’t just annoying; they’re crippling their team’s ability to innovate, take risks, and grow. The result? A disengaged team that feels incompetent and lacks autonomy.
The Fix: Trust your people. Give them the freedom to do their work. If you find yourself micromanaging, take a moment to reflect on where your insecurity is coming from. A great leader knows when to step back and let their team shine. As a leadership coach, I help my clients build that confidence, both in themselves and their teams, through self-awareness and trust-building practices.
2. Patronizing: Making People Feel Small
This one really stings. I once worked for a manager who seemed to delight in patronizing me, belittling my ideas, and making me feel like my contributions didn’t matter. Whenever I showed vulnerability or asked for help, I was met with condescension rather than support.
The Problem: Patronizing behavior stems from a leader’s own self-judgment. They put others down to feel better about their own shortcomings. This toxic behavior kills creativity and drives down morale.
The Fix: Empower your team. Leaders need to lift their people up, not tear them down. If you catch yourself speaking down to others, it’s time to reflect on what’s triggering that behavior. Kindness and humility are not weaknesses—they are superpowers in leadership.
3. Disconnected Leadership: Tuning Out Instead of Tuning In
Imagine sitting in a 1-1 with your manager, sharing ideas and concerns, only to notice them typing away on their laptop, barely acknowledging your existence. That was my reality with one particularly disengaged manager. I’d leave these meetings feeling invisible and wondering why I even bothered.
The Problem: Disconnected leadership happens when a leader is so overwhelmed or checked out that they can’t (or won’t) be present for their team. This behavior sends a clear message: "You don’t matter."
The Fix: Be present. Leadership isn’t just about strategy or operations—it’s about people. If you’re feeling burned out or disconnected, it’s crucial to address it before it affects your team. As an executive coach, I often work with leaders to help them reconnect with their purpose and re-engage with their teams.
4. The Politics of Power: When Integrity Takes a Back Seat
In one of my previous roles, I worked under a leader who was a master at playing company politics. They were confident, charismatic, and strategic—but they sacrificed integrity to climb the corporate ladder. While they rose to power, the team beneath them suffered from a lack of direction and sincerity.
The Problem: Leaders who play political games are often focused on self-preservation rather than team growth. While they may achieve short-term success, the long-term damage to their team’s trust and morale is undeniable.
The Fix: Lead with integrity. True leadership is about doing what’s right, not just what’s easy. Ask yourself: Do I want to be remembered as someone who played the game well or someone who led with honesty and integrity? The choice is yours, but integrity will always win in the long run.
5. Lack of Transparency: Keeping Your Team in the Dark
This one was a company-wide issue. Multiple leaders at this organization were masters of withholding information. They kept their teams in the dark about key decisions, and as a result, mistrust spread like wildfire.
The Problem: Lack of transparency creates an environment of suspicion and disengagement. When leaders aren’t upfront about what’s happening, their teams lose faith in them and the organization.
The Fix: Be transparent. Even when the news isn’t great, sharing information with your team builds trust. People can handle the truth far better than they can handle secrecy. As an executive coach, I encourage leaders to cultivate open, honest communication with their teams.
What’s the Common Thread?
Looking back on these experiences, there’s a clear theme: Self-awareness. The best leaders I’ve worked with are the ones who know themselves deeply. They understand their strengths, their weaknesses, and their blind spots. In contrast, the worst leaders are often those who lack self-awareness, allowing their insecurities, fears, and ego to drive their decisions.
If you’re serious about becoming an exceptional leader, you need to do the inner work first. It’s not just about learning new management techniques; it’s about understanding who you are and how you show up in the world.
As an executive coach in San Francisco, I’ve seen firsthand how transformative this self-awareness can be for leaders. When you operate from a place of grounded self-awareness, you can inspire and lead with integrity, empathy, and confidence.
How to Avoid These Pitfalls in Leadership
Develop Self-Awareness: Take the time to reflect on your own behaviors and triggers. Consider working with a coach to gain insights into your leadership style and areas for growth.
Build Trust: Trust your team and empower them to take ownership of their work. Micromanagement only stifles creativity and confidence.
Lead with Integrity: Always prioritize integrity over short-term gains. Your team will respect you more for it.
Be Present: Make time to truly connect with your team. Leadership isn’t just about strategy—it’s about relationships.
Communicate Transparently: Even in tough times, being open with your team builds trust and loyalty.
Final Thoughts: Don’t Be Like Them
The path to becoming an exceptional leader is not always easy, but it is absolutely worth the effort. The worst leaders I’ve encountered weren’t born bad—they became that way through a series of unchecked behaviors and unresolved insecurities. Don’t let that be your story.
If you’re ready to take the next step in your leadership journey, I’m here to help. Get in touch for a free consultation and let’s start the work of becoming an uncommonly great leader.
Book your consultation now and start leading from a place of strength, integrity, and self-awareness.
Want to learn more? Read the full post here.
What Makes an Uncommonly Good Leader? Here’s What I Learned From the Best Manager I Ever Had
In a world full of recycled leadership tips and tricks, what does it take to be a truly uncommon leader? After 14 years in leadership development, I’ve learned that the best leaders don’t rely on trendy management techniques—they lead from a place of genuine kindness and authenticity.
In my latest Substack post, I reflect on the lessons I learned from the best manager I’ve ever had and offer practical advice for embodying those traits in your own leadership.
If you’re ready to move beyond the leadership clichés and lead with heart, read on.
How Empathy Became My Leadership Superpower
For years, I thought my sensitivity was a weakness. Growing up in fast-paced, results-driven environments, I believed that the only way to succeed was by hiding my true self. I became skilled at masking my emotions and playing the part of a "professional" leader. But deep down, I felt a disconnect—a tension between who I was and who I thought I had to be.
In my latest Substack article, I dive into my journey as an empath in leadership. I explore the challenges I faced in masking my empathy and how embracing it as a strength transformed my work as a coach. Read more to discover how empathy can be a game-changing leadership tool and how you can tap into your own sensitivity for success.
Combatting Toxic Authenticity in Leadership
Authenticity has become a buzzword in leadership, but what does it truly mean to be an authentic leader? In my coaching practice, we often define authenticity as living and leading in a state of flow, fully connected to your zone of genius, and grounded in collective and systemic wisdom. But many organizations and leaders get this wrong.
Toxic Authenticity Gut-Check:
✔ Being yourself at all costs, especially when the cost is your own sanity or sense of safety
✔ Giving hard feedback because you are “just being honest” without checking in on your own self-awareness first
✔ Implementing strong DEIB initiatives for the sake of optics
✔ Fostering a 'cool' company culture with no meaningful people-centered substance to back it up
✔ Sharing personal life details at work to create a [false] sense of closeness
✔ The casual dress code, happy hours, and calling your team a 'family' (you are not a family, you are colleagues.)
Real authenticity is living and leading in a state of flow, fully connected to your zone of genius, and grounded in collective and systemic wisdom.
However, having navigated through many organizations with that toxic authenticity culture, I’ve come to see that true authenticity in leadership is far deeper and more complex:
⭐ Self-led Leadership: Authenticity means being deeply connected to your inner 'parts,' 'voices,' or 'triggers.' It's about profound self-awareness coupled with self-compassion.
⭐ Mastering Presence: True presence isn’t just about being in the room or showing up as a particular archetype of a leader; it's about deeply understanding both what you are and aren’t aware of at any moment and deepening your ability to make conscious decisions with a full set of self-led choices.
⭐ Systemic Understanding: Authenticity involves recognizing your role within the larger system, understanding its complexities, and making choices that benefit both the individual and the collective.
⭐ Articulating the Inner Self: It’s about developing the skill to articulate and communicate the inner workings of the self in a way that supports and benefits everyone involved. Your ability to communicate well has a large impact on your felt sense of authenticity.
True authenticity isn’t a badge to be earned; it’s a continuous journey of deep personal and professional development.
Our societal attempts to cultivate authenticity often fall short because they skim the surface with programs and initiatives that don't tackle the profound individual work required, particularly at the leadership level, nor do they tackle the many systemic issues across organizations and cultures that may make it easier or harder for any one person to feel a true sense of belonging.
True authenticity isn’t a badge to be earned; it’s a continuous journey of deep personal and professional development. It requires a deep expansion of self-awareness, presence, and communication skills. You must be willing to know yourself more each day, to understand your triggers, blind spots, and belief systems, and to express your inner self authentically to the world around you.
Until you do this deep work, you might find yourself close to authenticity but not quite there; and from there to full-blown toxic authenticity is a very slippery and enticing slope.
It's why coaching can be so transformative as it provides the space to explore your inner world and connect it with your behaviors in ways that foster truly authentic leadership.
Client Stories: I worked with Client M, who struggled with showing up authentically in his career. Together, we dove into deep self-inquiry work, and he learned to tap into his true strengths while letting go of the masks he had worn for years. The result was a more confident, aligned leader who operated fully from his zone of genius.
Ready to embrace true authenticity in your leadership? Let’s explore how to get you there.
Rebooting After the Summer Break: How to Get Back Into Work Mode
Coming back to work after the summer holidays can feel like a cold splash of reality. The inbox is overflowing, meetings are piling up, and that vacation mindset is still lingering. But here’s the thing—getting back into work mode doesn’t have to feel like a grind. As an executive coach in San Francisco, I’ve seen how a few small shifts can help professionals get back into their groove after a break.
Embrace the Transition
First off, give yourself some grace. Coming back from vacation isn’t just about catching up on emails. It’s about mentally shifting gears. Instead of forcing yourself to go 0 to 100, allow for a gentle transition and recognize that it's normal to feel out of sync at first.Reconnect with Your People
Summer tends to create a natural pause in team dynamics, so use this time to reconnect with your colleagues. Schedule a coffee chat or a quick check-in. These moments aren’t just about work; they’re about reigniting the spark of collaboration and camaraderie that keeps your team strong.Set Manageable, Short-term Goals
Don’t try to tackle everything on day one. Focus on small wins. Whether it’s getting through a handful of emails or finishing up one project, setting short-term goals helps you ease back into productivity without the overwhelm.Reframe Your Mindset
Instead of seeing this transition as the end of your summer freedom, see it as a fresh start. Your break likely gave you some perspective—now is the perfect time to channel that into your work, re-prioritize, and get excited about what’s next.
Returning to work after a break doesn’t have to feel like pulling teeth. With a little intention and some self-compassion, you can regain your momentum and set yourself up for success. Need help with a bigger career transition or finding your focus? Let’s talk about how coaching can support you.
Silent Success Killers
How we subconsciously sabotage our own success, and what to do about it
Hate to break it to you but you are the only thing standing in the way of your own success. Yep. And if you just thought of a bunch of reasons for why this isn’t true, then you’ve just proved my point.
Self-sabotage occurs when our actions consciously or unconsciously prevent us from reaching our goals. It's a complex phenomenon rooted in our fears, beliefs, and past experiences. At its core, self-sabotage is an intricate dance between wanting to move forward and being afraid to do so.
How you are self-sabotaging
1. Fear of Failure It's ironic how the dread of failing causes us to engage in behaviors that hinder our progress. Whether it's procrastination, avoiding risks, or not trying at all, fear of failure keeps us playing small. How can we address this? By reframing failure as a necessary step toward learning and growth, not as a final destination. I talk about this at length in my Substack article.
2. Perfectionism This trait can be a double-edged sword. Striving for excellence is commendable, but when it morphs into perfectionism, it can paralyze us. Perfectionists often struggle to complete tasks because they're never quite "perfect." The antidote? Embrace "good enough." Set realistic standards and allow yourself to learn from each step forward, perfect or not. Perfectionism is like that annoying guest at a party who just won’t leave. It’s time to show it the door. Perfection is an illusion, a mirage in the professional desert. And it is often tied to our own relationship to worthiness.
3. Negative Self-Talk This is an area where I’ve found that using Internal Family Systems in my practice really shines. While our inclination might be to tell our inner voices to STFU, a better approach is to get to know the voices, understand what they are trying to do for us (usually, they’re trying to protect us but they’re operating from an immature and outdated set of information), and then compassionately give them a cozy seat at the back of the car so that you (your real Self) can take the wheel. If you’ve seen Inside Out 2, you’ve got a great image for how this works.
4. Poor Boundary Setting If you're saying yes when you really mean no, you're not only building resentment but also diverting energy away from your true goals. Learning to set and maintain clear boundaries is crucial for success and personal well-being. Thinking you can do it all is a fools errand and if you don’t pay for it now, you’ll pay for it tomorrow. What is the inner voice that is preventing you from having good boundaries trying to tell you about your own ideas of self worth?
5. Imposter Syndrome Feeling like a fraud is exceedingly common, especially among high achievers. This phenomenon can prevent talented individuals from pursuing opportunities due to a fear of being "exposed." How do we combat this? By collecting and revisiting positive feedback and successes to internalize our accomplishments. Also, by connecting with the inner voice that is trying to protect us from whatever unknown lies at the edge of our success.
7. Saying “Yes” to Everything Stop being a yes-person. Overcommitting doesn’t make you a superhero; it makes you a tired one. Prioritize, and invest your energies wisely. This is a form of poor boundary setting and people pleasing, again both of which ultimately come down to how you see yourself in relation to others, your work, and your worth.
8. Not Taking Help Why struggle alone when you can achieve so much more with a little support? Help is often right there, literally waiting for us to grab it. People are willing to help. Your team, your boss, your community are all willing to help. If someone asked me for help, I would be thrilled to have been chosen for this highest honor. So why are we depriving others of being a part of our success? Is it pride? Is it fear? Is it our internalized hyper-individualistic capitalist mindset that says we should be able to pull ourselves up by our boot straps and make it all happen? Yes, and it’s all a lie. No one has ever been successful in isolation. Not a single person. Unconvinced? Read Outliers by Malcom Gladwell and then let’s talk.
9. Values Misalignment You might be the best and most skilled person at your company or in your work but if your work is not aligned to your values, you are willingly keeping yourself small. Your values are the hammer that can break through any ceiling and to not use them is to run the race with a 10lb weight tied around your ankles.
10. Short-Term Comforts Procrastinating? Avoiding difficult conversations? These are comfort foods for your psyche—satisfying now but detrimental in the long run. Opt for the healthier choice, even if it’s tougher to swallow. And along the way, ask yourself what beliefs are fueling these behaviors, what identity are you resting on, and what identity do you want to embody (and then what behaviors and changes are required to get there). So much of our success comes down to habits - both physical and mental - but this wont shift until you decide to BE the person that succeeds.
If any of this makes you uncomfortable, good. It’s supposed to. Discomfort is the first step towards real change. I'm not here to coddle; I want you to be the best version of yourself. So, let’s start a conversation— Tell me, what are your self-sabotage stories? How are you planning to tackle them?
Steps to Overcome Self-Sabotage
The first step is awareness. Recognize these behaviors in your daily life and understand their triggers. Practice mindfulness to stay present and make conscious choices rather than falling into old, self-defeating patterns.
Next, set up systems that counteract these tendencies. This could be as simple as a daily check-in with yourself or as structured as therapy or coaching sessions. Surround yourself with a support network that holds you accountable and mirrors your worth back to you.
Finally, form new relationships with your inner world. Your inner voices that fuel your behaviors are all trying to help you. Get to know them, offer them compassion, and learn to be Self led.
And if you’re ready to really kick this for good, maybe it’s time we talk one-on-one. Sign up for coaching, and let’s get those obstacles out of your way—for real this time.
Until next time,
Catalina
The #1 theme in Executive Coaching
Do you know what the #1 theme that comes up with clients in my coaching practice is?
Amongst all my clients, from different industries, different levels, different roles, different demographics? The theme that comes up the MOST across the board is this:
FEAR OF FAILURE.
The fear of failure is pervasive across most people I speak to, and it lurks right under the surface outside of our awareness. Leaders, despite their obvious successes, still feel apprehensive about their ability to “succeed”, thus affecting their confidence and their decision-making at work and in life. This is true for men and women in my practice and it is true for Millennials, GenZ, and even my GenX clients at the height of their careers.
Fear of failure paralyzes us. It stunts our growth opportunities. It perpetuates a cycle of self-doubt and perfectionism. For some, the fear of failure feels as terrifying as death.
So what’s underneath that, and what can we do about it?
The fear of failure can come from any number of root causes and messaging. For some, its pressure from parents as children, for others it’s their schooling, and for others still its their professional endeavors, working in high-pressure environments with toxic cultures and low tolerance for mistakes.
But failure is an important part of human learning and growth. To become the person you are today, you were required to fail at absolutely every single thing you know how to do at least a few times before you learned to do it right. As babies, we learn to walk by falling down. As kids, we learn to count by counting incorrectly. As teens we learn to drive by stalling out the car a few times. So why are we allowed and encouraged to ‘fail’ as children but as adults it becomes our most devastating fear?
A few perspectives on this:
Capitalism: A system that is built for corporate gain is by design intolerant of creativity. Creativity and failure are inextricable from one another and when push comes to shove, financial gain will always trump creativity and innovation, despite what your corporate values and company culture say.
Traumatic experiences: Maybe, at one point in your life, someone who had not “done the work” on themselves to know they were activated allowed themselves to react in a way that was incongruent with your own well-being, leaving a lasting mark on you and planting a seed for the fear of failure to fester.
Our own brain: Our brains job is not to help us be thriving, successful, and self-actualized. Our brain’s job is to keep us alive and safe, and if you’re reading this then your brain has done an excellent job so far. However, safety and survival are in some ways also incongruent with creativity, expansion, growth, and exploration all of which lead to actualization. The path to get there is designed with failure as a feature, not a bug, and sometimes we have to work through our own hardwiring to see past ourselves.
There are many more reasons for why fear of failure manifests so strongly in most of us, and each person will have their own story of how they arrived there. What matters is first, knowing your origin story, and second, learning how to rewrite it.
In coaching, we may rewrite this story through a number of different techniques. We may take a cognitive approach to help ourselves see the flaws in our logic, or we may take a family systems approach and connect with our inner child to provide them the comfort they seek when they’re afraid. We may also look at a social-systemic view and understand how the systems around us have created an environment where the fear of failure was adaptive and well-fed, and we can learn to internalize and externalize the elements that are, and are not, ours to carry. Whatever approach we take, it will be tailored to you, to your story, to your particular relationship with failure, and we will regularly revisit and develop a new relationship for you to ground on that is intentional and Self-Led.
And why is working through your fear of failure so important? Because the thing you want most is exactly on the other side of failure. Because you will absolutely never achieve what it is that you seek without first confronting this ubiquitous human experience. Because in order to maximize your potential, make more money, grow in your career, find balance and joy in work and life, work with your strengths, set boundaries, advocate for yourself, know yourself, live a creative life and career, or find any amount of self actualization, you must look in the mirror first and overcome the thing that is keeping you stuck. If it were easy, everyone would have done it by now.
A few coaching questions to get you thinking:
Where did you first hear the messaging that failure was something bad and to be feared?
Where does the fear of failure show up for you at work? Where did it show up this week?
What is one way you can re-write the narrative around failure in order to support your goals this week?
Fear of failure is normal. Letting it control your life is not. Coaching can help.
To learn more or get started on your growth journey, email me at cat@catalinafries.com.
‘Ponte las pilas’ - Coaching for Latinx Leaders
“Ponte las pilas”.
If you grew up in a Latinx household, you probably heard your parents say this to you more times than you can count. I know I did.
When I try to explain what this means to non-Spanish speakers, saying “put your batteries in” doesn’t quite hit the same. There’s just *something* about hearing your parents tell you to “ponerte las pilas” that could either send shivers down your spine about your inadequacy in the world, or inspire you to get your act together and become a better version of yourself. Either way, the context matters and if you are at all like me, now as an adult you might tell yourself to “ponerte las pilas” at work, at home, or in any other part of your life when you feel like you are not quite doing enough.
These cultural phrases stick and define how we think about ourselves. And these little micro-experiences are part of what make you as a Latinx person whole. These are also exactly the nuances about who we are that can make us feel “othered” when working in an environment where our cultural practices are not the norm nor the status quo. Trying to be understood and seen even in the most inclusive workplaces is still an uphill battle for any person who doesn’t identify as a cisgendered white man. It takes a lot more work to explain or show who we are in an effort to be authentic, and it takes a lot more work to mask who we are in an effort to fit in. We walk an invisible tight rope between being seen as a “good” employee and being seen as ourselves.
That’s why in your journey in developing yourself as a leader it can be helpful to work with someone who just “gets it”. Someone who understands how you grew up, who speaks your language (literally and figuratively), and with whom you don’t have to spend extra time and energy explaining yourself to.
With my Latinx clients, we have the unique opportunity to jump right into the heart of things, to seamlessly switch from English to Spanish whenever it’s easier to express something in the other language, and to feel truly deeply seen in a way that you might not get to experience at work on a regular basis.
I know when I’ve worked with coaches and therapists who come from a similar culture as I do, I’ve always appreciated being able to be fully myself: Colombian, American, woman, and everything in between. 🇨🇴
If this resonates with you, reach out! My practice is full of clients from around the world and I enjoy bringing my global perspective to our work.
(Bonus: I also speak French from the many years I spent living in France and I very much enjoy working cross-culturally with French clients too). 🇫🇷
The benefits of embracing your full self, both as a coach and as a leader, will go far beyond the power of a single session. Coming alive as your full self is the purpose of coaching. Together we’ll get you there.
Rest is an act of rebellion.
Rest is an act of rebellion.
I’ve had several powerful conversations with female clients lately, especially mothers, who struggle to allow themselves rest. And as a woman and mother myself, I get it.
But guaranteed, our male partners or colleagues don’t think twice when granting themselves personal time. Rest, to them, is their birthright. But for us women, giving ourselves permission to do absolutely nothing is riddled with guilt and shame, and before I go any further, let me just remind you that this is not your fault. The system is designed this way.
Because imagine a world where women were fully rested, needs met, healthy, safe, and at our full creative capacity… that notion terrifies the status quo and the system benefits from our exhaustion. Women (and mothers in particular) are the most powerful, creative, productive, and courageous creatures on this planet.
So in case you needed permission (you don’t), here’s your sign to put your computer away, go lay down, and do absolutely nothing. You’re changing the world, I promise. 💫
Whole-person perspective: Who I am outside of my resume
In coaching, I take a *whole person* perspective, which often surprises clients when they arrive to coaching thinking they will be focusing just on work. But naturally, who we are outside of the office directly influences our experiences at work, and vice versa, so it is fundamental to a successful coaching engagement to embrace the many parts of who we are and to be willing to go deep in order to experience the impact of coaching.
In the spirit of the whole person - here are some things about who I am that are not visible on my resume:
- I am a first-generation Colombian-American and my first language was actually Spanish. I speak both natively.
- I’m a mom to a spunky 4-year old daughter and by far this role is the hardest and most important job that I have. Family always comes first - anyone who has ever worked for me knows this about me!
- I have lived in Paris, France THREE different times in my life and I speak French, though with a bit of an accent despite my best efforts.
- I collect hobbies, crafts, and business ideas like no one you’ve ever met. I become obsessed with something and then decide to dive deep into that for a while, until I find something new. I circle in and out of hyper fixations regularly. Some of the hobbies that I’ve been into over the past few years include: archery, ceramics, knitting, embroidery, indigo shibori textile art, candle making, vintage fashion hunting, and baking focaccia bread. To name a few. Currently, I am knitting a sweater.
- My passions that are steadfast and unwavering and that make me the creative and whole person that I am are, and have always been, Dance and Photography. Those aren’t going anywhere. In fact, I have a separate Photography business AND I’m part of a Colombian Cumbia dance group and we will be performing in the San Francisco Carnaval Parade on May 26th - come watch me dance in my full folkloric attire!
- I’m vegan and have been for nearly a decade!
- I am a “retired” yoga instructor and yoga remains my main grounding and mindfulness practice that informs much of how I aim to see the world.
In one way or another, all of these parts of me do end up showing up in my own self work and, importantly, in how I show up for my clients. While maybe not explicitly (I am not often literally dancing with clients in session 😂), in spirit and energy I am showing up authentically by allowing all of the things that make me who I am be present in me so that I may create enough space and enough of a mirror for my client to be able to do the same. Each of these parts contains wisdom about me as a person and as a coach, and my gift of presence is allowing them all to be valid and honored in a session.
What’s something about you that’s not on your resume that makes you who you are? Let me know in the comments!
Coaching for rising stars
Have you ever found yourself being the youngest person in a room full of older and seemingly more accomplished leaders?
I have. I felt this way early in my career and for a long time, it was a source of my own impostor syndrome, even when I was no longer the youngest. I asked myself, “Do I really belong here?” And “When will everyone find out they made a mistake?”
Being the youngest often felt like a hindrance until one day I realized it was actually a strength. As I’ve worked my way through my career and reached leadership positions faster than others around me, I experienced both a lingering fear of being ‘found out’ as well as a deep knowing that perhaps it was never about age at all.
Sometimes when we move quickly “up the ladder”, it can take our brain a bit longer to catch up to our external successes. Though we are fully capable, high performing, high achieving leaders with insatiable curiosity and appetite for more, our brains want to keep us safe and avoid exposure or risk at all costs. Through coaching with an executive coach, a rising star can bring their brain and heart up to speed with the realities of their current successes. A coach can help you identify what mindset blocks are preventing you from relishing in your own accomplishments and can help you upskill yourself to continue to take on new opportunities that will quench your thirst for more.
High performers, newly promoted leaders, and rising stars are amazing candidates for executive coaching. Together we will get you to where you want to be, and fast.
If you’re interested in working together, feel free to schedule a free consultation to see if we’d be a good fit to help you achieve your goals.
How to know if group coaching is right for you
Mini-series on group coaching… part 2:
So how do you know if group coaching is right for you? When choosing a plan for how to develop yourself in your career, often it can feel a little overwhelming thinking through all the options that exist in the world that are available at your fingertips. Everything from self paced courses to free videos on TikTok to blended online programs to bespoke offsites from your company to executive vs life or career coaching, or even group coaching…. How to decide?!
Group coaching is right for you if:
- You are highly ambitious
- Have a growth mindset
- Have already taken some steps towards professional or personal development but are looking for more
- Are excited by the idea of having a close-knit community of peers to learn from
- Are curious about 1-1 executive coaching but want the community element as well
- Are committed to offering your own expertise to others who can learn from you
- Are a little intimidated by the investment of 1-1 coaching but you still want to be coached and to grow
Furthermore, group coaching and cohort-style learning can be particularly beneficial for individuals who belong to an underrepresented group in leadership, as community and peer support are key drivers for success.
Does this sound like something you’d sign up for? Let me know! ⬇
Group Coaching is about to blow up
You’ve probably been hearing and seeing a lot more about group coaching and cohort-style learning lately? No? Well you’re about to. 🚀
Group coaching and cohort-style learning are set to be the next big wave in personal and professional development. Personally, I’ve been working in this space for a LONG time and I’m excited to see it start to expand.
When covid hit, we all began working from home and everything that we knew about how to develop and grow in our careers was instantly thrown out the window. In the L&D programs I’ve built in the years since and in the executive coaching work I do in my practice, I realized quickly that we are no longer solving for content when we design a methodology for learning. We are solving for CONNECTION.
The world has changed dramatically and it has illuminated this deep, fundamental need to learn and develop within the context of community. Growing in your career is not a one-sized-fits-all model, which is why group coaching and peer learning is so powerful - it allows for a truly customized approach to development, while benefiting from the input and feedback of peers who can help illuminate opportunities that you may not have been able to see or access on your own.
Have you tried group coaching or peer-to-peer learning experiences? What are the benefits you’ve experienced? 👯 Let me know in the comments! ⬇
Lessons on Leadership
Did you know that almost 10 years ago, I taught yoga outside of my regular L&D job? Getting certified as a yoga instructor was one of the best learning experiences I could have ever undertaken in my personal and professional life and to this day, while I may not be teaching vinyasa flow sequences, much of my philosophy on work, leadership, and life can still find its roots in yoga.
Yoga is a philosophy about the inextricable connectedness of all things. In leadership, I believe this is a fundamental principle for us to embrace and work with if we are to be successful in our professional ambitions. Nothing happens in isolation - not your success nor your failures, not your promotions or the feedback you receive, and certainly not your goals, dreams, and ambitions. We are all part of systems within systems within systems that influence and shape what we have access to. Every single thing that we do, every part of who we are, is connected to everyone and everything else that is or will ever be.
Sound a little woowoo? Good. Staying stuck in a hyper-individualistic, western mindset around success is a surefire recipe for failure. In order to truly be successful, we have to embrace that we are part of something bigger than ourselves, that everything we do impacts everyone around us, and that we do have the answers within but we need connection to help bring those answers out because… we can’t go at it alone.
This is where mindfulness practices really shine. And there is neuroscience to back it up. Curious to hear more? I created a short 10-minute lesson on leadership centered around connection and presence and how we can blend philosophies to deepen our ability to grow as leaders. Head to this link below to listen and come back to LinkedIn to let me know what resonates with you and what you’d like to hear more of. I’m thinking of recording more short lessons like this so please share your thoughts with me about what would be valuable to you on your leadership journey!
Download the free lesson here.
Hudson Graduate and the power of presence
It has been a few months since I received my Hudson Certified Executive Coach certification. Not too long ago, my colleagues from the cohort and I were finishing our final exams, celebrating with champagne, and hugging/crying with pride after closing out this massive achievement.
In the months since returning home from Santa Barbara, I have been doubling down on business development now with my program behind me and an exciting new future of executive coaching ahead. Coming soon, I’ll be sharing updates to my website, new opportunities to stay in touch, and continued reflections on work, business, and the human growth journey.
While I’ll leave the business teaser there for today, I will share one reflection that has continued to feel true for me as I deepen my work as a coach: Everything, and I do mean *everything*, is inextricably connected. And the more I embrace this deep universal *knowing*, the more I find that I can be a better coach for my clients.
The more I come to understand my role as a coach, the more I see that all the wisdom and knowledge that ever existed exists today, right now, inside each one of us. Inside my clients as well as in myself. But in order to harvest that wisdom the key is *connection*. While it is possible that that the answers to everything we seek are already there inside of us, it’s often hard to access without a mirror to show us what's there. That is in some ways the role of the coach. To connect on a profoundly present and human way with the person sitting across from us such that all truths can see the light of day. The gift we offer above all of our knowledge and expertise and years of experience and certifications, is the gift of our true, pure, authentic presence. This is where everything is connected and everything comes to the surface.
As a coach in my practice, I have been working deeply to embody this. So to hear colleagues from Hudson comment and acknowledge on my “presence” in the coaches chair, I feel deeply validated and seen (thank you to my SLG!). To be in presence and connection with another human is the act that heals all wounds. And thank you to my clients who continue to trust me and allow me to show up with presence, compassion, and Self.
This is why this work is so meaningful. It is a gift that keeps on giving and I am grateful to have found myself on this path.
How do you cultivate deep, true presence for yourself? What does presence mean to you? How do you embody connection and presence? Let me know in the comments!
Group Coaching Launching Soon
🔑 Exciting opportunity coming soon…
If you:
- Identify as a woman
- Are highly ambitious in your career
- Want a community of peers to learn from
- Are stuck with something professionally and need support to work through it
- Are highly committed to your development and are willing to do whatever it takes
Then you should apply today to be considered for a limited spot in my women’s leadership group coaching program. 🚀
I’m offering an exclusive rate and VERY limited spots for this first cohort.
See what previous participants are saying:
“Catalina has been a tremendous asset and value leading our group coaching cohort. She is particularly skilled at working with a diverse group of individuals from around the world and addressing their unique perspectives whilst uniting them with clarity and alignment on every call.” — Jessica, Founder
More details and the application can be found here.
Hope to hear from you soon. 💡
I am now ICF Certified
I am excited to share that I am now officially ICF Certified!
Getting this certification means a lot in todays coaching world. I take my coaching skills, training, experience, and abilities seriously. Receiving the stamp of approval from the primary certifying body in the world is a chance to validate the integrity of my work as a coach and I feel incredibly proud to be able to wear this ACC badge in my practice.
I have lots of opinions about certifications in coaching. This profession remains unregulated by any legal body which is a double edged sword for both coaches and clients alike. Institutions like the ICF fill the gap by providing a standardized set of competencies to adhere to which helps at a very baseline level in communicating expectations around coaching quality and integrity. However, having any type of training or certification is not a requirement at any level for anyone to call themselves a coach or even to be successful in their coaching business. Nor does having an ICF certification mean that someone will be the best or right coach *for you*. This gray area makes it challenging for a consumer to know which coaches they can trust to be the most effective and it also makes it challenging for coaches to market themselves and their abilities amongst a sea of people with varying skill or ability.
One of the main gripes I have with our industry is that truly anyone can call themselves a coach and no one can stop them nor are they held accountable for the work they do in their coaching practice. I see so many ‘online coaches’ in my social media feeds who aim to sell programs, e-books, courses, coaching sessions, or trainings on a topic of their own expertise who make a ton of money in their business but may ultimately be better marketers than they are coaches. I’ve seen people call themselves ‘productivity coaches’, ‘mental health coaches’, ‘weight loss coaches’ and even ‘fashion coaches’. And while all of these areas may be valuable and important for individuals to get tailored support with, I have a hard time seeing how the fundamental principles of coaching can be upheld in a relationship where one person positions themselves as an expert and doles out advice and consultation. Perhaps calling them ‘productivity consultants’ or ‘fashion stylists’ might be a better title. But since coaching has surged in popularity, everyone wants in on the ‘coach’ name.
That’s why I take my training and certification from the prestigious Hudson Institute and my recent accreditation from ICF seriously. Working with me means you are getting seriously impactful results in your career and life. Need more proof? See what my clients are saying about me here.
And a big special thank you to the entire Hudson staff for the elite training that helped me pass my exam and receive this certification. Proud to be an alumni and coach on this journey with this amazing community!
Happy Mothers Day!
Happy almost-Mother’s day to all the mothers and maternal figures out there who are working harder than anyone else on earth to love, support, teach, protect, and inspire the future leaders of this world. Moms, you (we) are the real heroes of the story and I’m constantly inspired by your strength and capacity.
You’ll often hear me talk about Maternal Joy. I believe deeply that this is where all the change and possibility for a brighter future lies. All the answers to all the worlds problems might, in some way, be found in the joy and liberation of mothers. When we are able to be at our most joyous and creative, we are infinite in every dimension. When my clients who are mothers are able to tap into joy through the deep exploration we do in coaching, everything starts to click into place and their full power at work and at home can come to life.
I will continue until my last breath to advocate for systemic change that puts mothers at the center of the narrative. And while one day a year is nice, we should really be celebrating mothers every day.
In a society and system that glorifies productivity, what could be more productive than literally creating human life? Mothers are powerful beyond measure and I’m proud to be one.
Happiest Mothers Day this weekend and every day to all who take on the most important job of all: Mom. 👸